Torment of others
QUESTION: Masters, I live in a small, close-knit community and am continually being slandered by a man who also lives here and thinks I owe him money. I am trying so hard to rise above the situation and not care that bad things are being said about me. I know it’s his pain and fear that make him act this way, but it is so difficult to stay detached when I know what’s being said and know that at least some of the people around me must believe badly of me. What do I do to not care? ~Roz, South Africa
ANSWER: Having your future or your reputation based upon the negativity of another person is a very difficult situation indeed. It is impossible to influence the thoughts and beliefs of others unless they consent to changing their basic way of thinking. This works two ways. Your tormentor will not change his constant assault on you unless he decides, on his own, to relent. At the same time, inhabitants of your community will not be easily influenced by his doings because he has a reputation for being a small-minded, negative individual. He always has someone about whom he has a complaint, and soon he will switch his vehemence to another.
In the meantime, you can easily see the effect this lesson is having upon you. Your lesson is allowing others to have power over the way you feel about yourself. If you loved yourself sufficiently, it would not matter to you what others thought or said about you, because you would know that is not the person you aspire to be. When you rely upon others to determine what you feel about yourself, you are saying they know more about you than you do.
Take responsibility for your own life and the way you choose to live it. Don’t worry about the thoughts of others or the attempts of those who seek to control your life. Thank this unhappy, fearful person for permitting you a glimpse of your own fears. You have no need to worry about what is being said, because it cannot hurt you unless you allow it to do so.