Seeing what you’re doing
QUESTION: Masters, I feel as though I have been on a soul journey for years. During this time, I left my boyfriend only to return again and again. I had to find myself after wasting 11 years in a strict, religious brainwashing cult. I haven’t really been happy even though I’ve tried to find the happiness within myself. Being extremely sensitive, I really am alone. I find interaction with people more annoying than actually fulfilling, as people tend to offload on me and only seek to be heard. They show little interest in return, so I find it hard to meet mature people who are conscious of the art of conversation and of lifting other people’s spirits. I have developed my skills (psychic, channeling, writing, and art) but what’s the point if I’m to face the future alone? I’m still a young woman! I feel like a tree in a desert with no water. Without water, it withers and dies. ~Shelly, Australia
ANSWER: Souls come to Earth to learn about themselves; the whole time here is a journey. While you are aware of that fact, the majority of souls are not. They find themselves to just be a part of humanity seeking experiences, prosperity, and love.
You have been on a series of treadmills. In romantic relationships you do not know what you seek so you returned again and again to your boyfriend because physical contact was the only thing you accepted as love. Your experience with the cult for 11 years was similar: attention, and being a member, was your substitute for love. By your admission what you are seeking is happiness—your definition of happiness. You want people to behave as you think they should, providing a path for you to lift your spirits, which you believe will make you happy.
No one can influence or control another person unless the person consents to that change. No one can make you happy unless you choose to be happy. If it is as simple as your making that choice, you don’t need anyone else to do it for you. You condemn and judge other people for not fitting your pattern. You are not happy within that framework, so how would other people provide that happiness if they were like you?
You have to learn to love yourself for who you are and what talents you possess. Love is the answer, not some envisioned sense of happiness. When you love yourself it will radiate out from you and other loving individuals will be drawn to that beacon and share the ride with you.