Lessons repeated
QUESTION: Masters, I have a friend of 20 years whom I love dearly but who also drives me nuts. The most annoying and disappointing aspect of this for me is the ‘controlling’ aspects of me that come to the fore around her. We often laugh that I was her older sister (amongst other roles) in a previous life. Can you please throw some light on this dynamic and explain to me why I can’t seem to create a friendship that feels truly equal in spite of my discomfort, and what the soul lesson is here? ~Dany, UK
ANSWER: Your dear friend is one of your soul group. Whenever souls wish to have an in-your-face experience, where they are forced to confront something they have shied away from, they ask a soul mate to be the ignition that sets the fire ablaze. You are a master of evasion. Simmering beneath the surface is a need to be always in control. Most of the time you contain it, but when your friend comes around she knows the right buttons to push to let it surface.
The lesson of controlling others has been a recurring one for you. Many lifetimes you have tried to learn and understand this lesson without success. You decided this life was the one where the details of unconsciously pushing and directing others would become a thing of the past. Your friend was to be there to keep prodding you until you stopped and figured out what causes your need to know what is coming next, and what each person around you is going to do.
You need to understand that control is really an illusion. It is impossible to control others unless they allow you to have power over them. Your friend first lets you think you can call the shots and then plants her feet and says “no way,” at which point you erupt because your plan is foiled. Go into the energy within your reaction and see what the feelings consist of which are emerging when you are challenged. That’s where your lesson lies. Acknowledge them, confront them, defuse them, no longer need them.