Life’s struggles
QUESTION: Masters, I’m struggling with life. I think I always have. I feel like a square peg in a round hole. As I get older, I seem to isolate myself more. I’ve lost all my oomph and don’t know how to get it back. My daughter says I am naive and was born in the wrong century. Interacting with people stresses me. I was unsuccessful in the profession I trained for, self-sabotage and mental health issues didn’t help. My childhood was abusive, but I see that now as a life lesson I chose. Are you permitted to give me a hint as to my life’s purpose? Does it possibly involve the Spiritualist Church? ~Caroline, Ireland
ANSWER: Your abusive childhood formed a pattern in which you feel trapped. Your mental issues and the self-deprecating and self-sabotaging behavior have kept you from developing a sense of who you are. You still identify with that fearful, controlled child who could make no decisions for yourself.
Your purpose is to accept that you are a piece of Source energy with the powers and abilities to be all-powerful, all-magnificent, and all-creative. You are not naïve, but rather overly sensitive to the way you think other people see you. Your desire to please others to avoid being punished has shaped your entire life. You can see this in your interactions with, and avoidance of, other people.
When you were working, you were so conscious of other people and their demands that you let that direct what you were doing, even if it was not what you had been hired to do. This sabotage further complicated the way you felt about yourself, seeing only that you were unsuccessful in everything you tried.
It is time to understand yourself, who you are: a soul having a human experience and finding out ways to enjoy this life. The Spiritualist Church could be of great assistance in discovering what your journey could be like. Since you shun making decisions so as not to be responsible for anything, replacing old indecisions with religious dogma is a gentle transition.
But with this new step, don’t do anything or accept anything unless it feels like it resonates with you. If you follow certain procedures and then they become burdensome, release them and go on to something else. This is just a beginning – your training wheels, which you will not need forever.