Living with your choices
QUESTION: Masters, my current life is one I can’t stand going on and continuing with because of social anxiety. I can’t get a new job with ease, I can’t stop constantly worrying about what comes next or if my brother is going to kill himself with the constant drug taking. Is there any easier way to cope to make life easier to live or am I here to learn how to deal with anxiety and patience? ~Roger, United States
ANSWER: As you have pointed out, one of the lessons you chose is learning to deal with anxiety. When the source of that anxiety is other people, or society in general, it comes from your view of yourself and your desire to please and have everyone love you. A major component in your life is your need to be in control. It may seem as if you have no control, but your desire to always know what is coming next and what other people are doing is an aspect of needing control.
Learning patience will help with your difficulties, but lightening up on yourself will assist even more. You are not responsible for what other people, your brother included, have chosen for their life’s journey. You cannot influence the actions of others because they all have freedom of choice to make their own decisions. Worrying means you have established specific expectations over an outcome. That is wanting to control those activities, and you simply cannot.
You have absolutely no love for yourself and the difficult journey you have chosen. Step back and examine what you have placed in front of you. Congratulate yourself for your courage of choice. Accept that what is here exists because you chose it. What a soul chooses is what they know they can handle.
Take each day at a time. Don’t look at the entire world at once. Just deal with what presents right in front of you. Take apart the situation and work with each little part at a time. When it comes to work, what do you feel comfortable doing? Develop confidence in the areas that appeal to you, and then reach out to the universe to let you see where you fit.