Blocked memories
QUESTION: Masters. I’ve been working on releasing false or resisted experiences/believes from childhood. For some time, I have been getting this feeling that I was sexually abused as a child by my father. Is it true? If so, I would like to clean up anything around this. I’ve had a hard time recollecting memory from my past that relates to my father so I’m going by feeling. Why can’t I remember? I feel there is a lot I blocked. Is there something that I’ve been resisting that I need to experience to release/discreate these feelings that keep coming up and finally let them go. If so, what are they? Any lessons that I need to learn around this, besides continuing to trust my intuition? ~Kiara, USA
ANSWER: Your memories, or rather feelings, are correct. You suppressed most of your youth, at least during the time of the sex acts, and have held them firmly closed because of the warnings you were given. Your father blamed everything that happened on you and told you all kinds of nasty things that were going to happen to you and the rest of the family if you told anyone.
During this same time period, a friend of yours also divulged sexual activities in her family and the whole neighborhood took sides. Your fiend was discredited, the parents got divorced, and she went off never to be seen again. You didn’t want any more of your life to be disrupted. You began living in the shadows.
It is very common to block out unpleasant experiences, particularly those where you felt you were to blame. You must first examine any sense of blame that still remains. Ask yourself what makes you feel uncomfortable because of anything you have done. If that doesn’t work in the beginning, try to open your feelings concerning when you stopped trusting your decisions.
Your intuition is the secret doorway into the past. Run everything that feels unsafe or uncomfortable by your intuition. What is causing the sensation? What do I need to shine light upon? Follow those fears and doubts, as you would do for any life lesson. Try going into a deep meditation and asking your higher self to show you the blockages. If you know a good spiritual hypnotherapist, that could be a very fast way to access that time period.