What do I do?
QUESTION: Masters I am married for many years but feel hidden hatred from my husband. He says he loves me but due to circumstances is unable to be happy. We both have had a lot of stress and bad luck with finances since the beginning but have got lovely kids together. I have been now told I’m depressed and feel like a machine walking through life. I did briefly get connected to another person who made me feel happy, but that situation was also complicated and had to be stopped/put on hold. How do I know if I should stay in the marriage or the other person was right, or I should move on and find happiness alone? ~L., Asia
ANSWER: You and your husband, while a good match when you first got married, have moved away from each other in ideals and beliefs. He resents you at this time, thinking that you and the children are what are causing his discomfort in his job and life. However, he still does love the idea of being married and having sired a wonderful family.
He spends a lot of time in a “poor me” mood where he revels in his misfortune and blames it on everything and anything but his own actions. Since he is always looking at the bad, or negative, side of things, he is unable to find happiness, which resides in positive, loving energy. How you look at life is a personal choice, where you can choose to be happy.
Your dalliance with the other man was to show you the possibilities. It was not the right time for you to make a change, so the circumstances prevented it. Your current state of mind results from an acceptance that things can’t get better. You dictate your reality, so choose the world you desire.
Every soul is extremely powerful and can bring to itself what it wishes. But, first, you have to believe that you can. You have to decide exactly what it is that you want, visualize it, and then bring it to you. There are no rights or wrongs during a spiritual journey, just choices. See what resonates with you and start in that direction.