Letting others create your beliefs for you
QUESTION: Masters my youngest son and his younger sister have had a horrible negative event. No one’s sure what happened but it is said his girlfriend said some nasty things about my daughter at her wedding. His girlfriend and I have talked, and she has said he just needs to get over it. That came out in a conversation with my son, and the girlfriend called me a liar and my son believes her. Now he calls me a liar which I absolutely am not. It’s a hopeless situation and I feel she has cost me my son. What is your advice on this? ~Robi, USA
ANSWER: Every person creates their own reality and what they accept as the truth in their world. Your son’s girlfriend is a trouble maker who is jealous of various members of your family. She delights in creating controversy and having control over others. At this time, your son is being manipulated by his girlfriend, who wants to separate him from the rest of the family. This is one of his life lessons: to be able to “feel” what resonates with him and what he wants to believe – a lesson in discernment.
You are not going to be able to get anyone to change their mind concerning their beliefs in this situation unless, or until, they make the decision to do so. For her to admit her nasty remarks to your daughter would be to tell on her own devious plans to put wedges between family members. For your son, he would have to take sides against the woman he thinks is his “one and only love.”
You know the only one here not telling the truth is the girlfriend. While it hurts for your son not to believe what you say, you have to see it from his perspective. Does he back up his lover or does he take the side of his family, who his girlfriend claims does not like her and is trying to break them apart? Give him time, away from the constant struggle, to reason out what is happening.
When one gets so disturbed by the words of another, it is generally because they think there could be a grain of truth in them. Continue with your confidence in what you know and disregard what she is saying.
Send the kids unconditional love that they might come to their senses and accept things as they happened, not as they would have liked them to happen. Don’t carry a grudge or judgment because that takes you into negativity and away from love. Be the spiritually loving person in the equation, carrying the love for all of you until they decide to join you.