When you see the pattern change it
QUESTION: Masters while my mother was alive, I judged her mercilessly, lacked compassion, and was relentlessly unkind toward her. 25 years later, I am now the age she was when she died, and have lived through many of the same experiences as she, which I judged her, and myself, so harshly for. My kids now judge me the same way I judged her. Karma? Since her death, I have focused on thriving, finding peace, working toward unconditional love. However, I still feel terrible how I treated this beautiful soul who was my mother in this life. Was this learning our soul agreement with each other? ~Mary Anne, Australia
ANSWER: Not karma but following the example shown to you. When you grow up with someone treating you in a particular way, you think that is the “normal” way to behave. You took your mother’s mannerisms and duplicated them so that you were each merciless, relentlessly unkind, and without any compassion. Unconsciously, it was this same pattern with which you raised your kids – so they are now perpetuating the training.
We always advise souls that their life lessons appear to them as fears and doubts. You have come to recognize the disastrous consequences of the behavior you believed was normal. This awareness allows you to change the way you think and act.
You have changed your behavior since your realization, but you have not been aware enough to pass on your learning to your children. Sit down with them and discuss why you treated them the way you did – that that was all you knew to do at the time and have now learned there is another way to interact with people.
Inform them about the destructiveness of negativity and that unconditional love heals all discord. Help them put aside negativity and strive to build a layer of positive energy, peace, and love around them.
As you have come to accept, all souls are beautiful; all souls are the same. You, your mother, and your children have all chosen to experience the same type of lessons and knew that together it would be easy to set up the circumstances needed. Part of the lesson is that, with realization, a second lesson pops up, and that is guilt.
To alleviate guilt, all you have to do is accept that you were all in this together by your own choices. All have entered into the cycle, and understanding is the resolution. Your mother is cheering you on to see if, now that you have learned, you may also be able to bring the kids into the fold.