Finding myself
QUESTION: Masters for years I’ve felt stuck and unhappy in life and unable to figure out how to move forward with even simple things like what type of job to seek. I’ve lost faith in myself, even while trying to be more positive. My upbringing made me fear God so I have trouble asking for spiritual help. My childhood had emotional neglect/abuse that damaged my sense of deserving to get my needs/ wants met. Can you suggest some ways I can connect with source to help me find a gratifying life rather than just resentfully serving my family while out of touch with my own needs/wants/gifts? I want satisfying work using my gifts, to learn to deal with others with confidence and collaboration, not fear. I feel I cannot live this way anymore, cut off from myself and my soul. It’s like I missed the boat for my true
purpose. ~Christina, USA
ANSWER: With all your lessons concerning self-worth, self-confidence, self-love, and trust still very active, to radically change, you will have to start from the beginning. The first step is accepting that you are a piece of the Source energy that is responsible for everything that exists anywhere and everywhere. With that acceptance comes the ability to image the qualities you have at your disposal for creating the life you desire.
Right now, you are inhibited by the belief systems that were bestowed on you by your parents and society. As a child, you accepted these without question and never even imagined that you had the ability to override them and change what they made you believe. These are the automatic responses you encounter in any situation that presents itself to you.
To begin to defuse these, and write your own rules for living, you have to start questioning the way you respond to any stimulus. You need to ask: Does this feel right to me? Is this what I really want to do? If the answer to these questions is a resounding no, then it is time to choose for yourself the actions you take. You are then beginning to rewrite the beliefs controlling your life. Do something because you feel it is the correct thing, or what you want to do, rather than what others have told you to do.
Each soul who has come to Earth to have a human experience does so by itself and has no obligations to anyone else. You owe your family nothing in a spiritual sense. But you owe yourself respect, honor, and love for enduring all these lessons in this situation and working within it.
In meditation, ask your guides to make contact with you so that they might hold your hand as you go through your transformation. The “God” you were threatened with in your youth is a creation of organized religion and does not exist. Source, Creator, Divine Spark – whatever you wish to call the originator of all things – is nothing but unconditional love.
Begin to see the magnificence that is your essence. Feel the love emanating from the universe down to you to assist you with your struggles. Know that you can become an independent person, manifesting what you need.