Stuck, what next?
QUESTION: Masters my mother is an intractable person. She thinks she’s superior and Jesus Christ is herself. Call everyone dumb and low level. They all ran away from her. I live in her house, so she is my responsibility. I do not have someone to ask for help. She is violent and hurts me with words and gestures. What do I have to learn from her? How can I get out of this situation? Is she mentally crazy? When can I have my own home? I’m desperate, I cannot stand this situation anymore. I cannot stay in a positive state to create a prosperous life for me. ~Luh, Brasil
ANSWER: First off, no one is anyone else’s responsibility. You are only responsible for yourself. Your lesson here is to understand that words and gestures alone can harm you only if you allow them to do so. Ignore that which does not resonate and feel applicable to you. Your mother is an extremely unhappy person and fears everything. Her idea is that if she can get others around her to be miserable, she will feel better by comparison – the old “misery loves company.”
There is nothing you can do to make her change her behavior unless, or until, she decides she wants and is ready to change. She is not certifiably crazy at this time but has personality defects that make her unfit to survive in normal society without assistance. Look around to social agencies for help in dealing with her.
All of this is coming to you because it is time for you to make some decisions about your future. A soul creates its own reality and brings to itself what it needs to experience and what will show it when it is time to move on. You have become complacent with the ability to live with your mother and have not found any other means of living. It is time to evaluate what talents you have that will allow you to get your own place and take care of all of your own needs – because you are responsible for yourself.
You are in a psychologically abusive situation and it will only get worse. You may stay if you desire, but you will not learn anything new about yourself or grow in understanding of this life. Seek out groups for abused children and they will point you in helpful directions. You are not alone in this scenario; it is all too common, but everyone feels like the only one suffering under the yoke of unreasonable parents.