What can I do?
QUESTION: Masters, I would like to ask if there is a specific discipline that I could work on. I have anxiety and emotional imbalances preventing me from seeing my reality or creating a reality that I desire. I want a relationship, and also at the same time, I have fears about one. My immaturity haunts me all the time, bringing up issues about my not being good enough, then being found out and getting dumped because of this lack. How can I work this out? I only experience short periods of relaxation and emotional balance which help me to put myself in order. The periods are far too short. I am almost like a walking maniac. ~Dechen, Malaysia
ANSWER: We would ask you to consider delving into your life-lessons. Everything that you have mentioned being concerned about has to do with your chosen life-lessons. Picking up some kind of discipline to distract you from your purpose will only intensify the energy around the avoided lessons.
As you well know, your biggest problem, or lesson, at this time is the issue of self- worth or being good enough. Have you ever asked yourself: being good enough for what or whom? You have a belief that has an iron grip upon you that you are not worthy to be with other people, happy and creative. Where did that come from? It isn’t part of who you are. That should be your search.
All souls come from the same Source. All souls, in essence, have identical capabilities. If you see yourself as “less than” other people, you are making the choice to be less than those around you. Selecting and staying on your current path will give you a lot of experience of being controlled and stepped on, but not much about making your own choices.
It is time for you to start questioning where your ideas and beliefs have come from. Why do you have such negative feelings about yourself? Why do you accept them as being truthful? Start questioning everything negative that pops up in your life. Every time you think negatively about yourself, stop and ask: what am I feeling right now? This will give you an idea of the origin of those thoughts. If the origin, such as something somebody said to you in the past, does not seem to fit the way you want to feel right now, then reject that feeling and change it to a positive one about yourself. Allow yourself to love yourself enough to work on chasing this negativity out of your life. Periods of bliss will be your reward!