Stepping into the unknown
QUESTION: Masters, for 6 years I have had an on/off relationship and he ended it again. We are never very mean to each other and we both are good people, so it hurts me a lot that he left me, when I was ready to make a family. When I was with him I started to drink to feel good and not insecure. I understand that is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Why do I still want to be with him? And I feel like we should have family together. I am not happy with him or without. Where do I get the courage to reach for my own dreams and live my own life? Will I ever find a man who I’d love and who would love me? Many have asked me out but I have no interest. ~Emilia91, Finland
ANSWER: You do not like to assume the responsibility of making decisions about long-term living. You have an idea that you would like to have a family, but you have not found a person who is of the same mind and intention. You sense this man is toxic to you, and that was what drove you to drink – to hide from the realities of the situation. When you have to go into a bottle to flee unhappiness, you are in the wrong place.
You are insecure in all major decisions and look to others to tell you what to do. It is time to grow up and acknowledge that you cannot move forward unless you choose and take that first step. You want to be with him because he makes decisions. His presence has created a comfort zone for you where you know exactly what he will do, even if it is not to your liking.
Why would you want to have a family in this environment? What kind of energy would you be placing those poor children in? Would you have been able to thrive in such chaos?
You fear the unknown because you have no control over it and do not know what is going to happen. You need to accept that you are a piece of Source and have the ability to create and bring to yourself what you desire to experience. You lack self-confidence and think you deserve everything that has happened to you. Get it through your mind that that is not so.
Visualize the type of man you could see yourself creating a family with. Believe that you are worthy of him. Send an invitation out to the universe to have him come to you – and then, most importantly, when he asks you out, go! You must do the work to reap the rewards.