Finding balance in overwhelm
QUESTION: Masters, I have been deeply affected by the difficult life lessons that I chose for myself in the life, I have been trying to heal and repair and accept what has happened in the past and move forward but I feel very afraid of life and have completely changed since the death of my boyfriend whom I felt and still feel strongly connected to and despite trying to remain positive and optimistic I just don’t like the negative aspects of this world even though I know that is part of the experience, I really feel everything and wonder how I am going to rebuilt my life and get through this rebirth and spiritual awakening without completely breaking? I often feel so overwhelmed. ~Sara, New Zealand
ANSWER: Your boyfriend shielded you to a large extent from the negativity of the world. It was always there, but you just didn’t have to deal with it. You two had agreed that there would come a time when he would depart so that you would be forced to step up and make your own way through life without protection. He is a soul mate of yours and you have shared a number of lifetimes together. He is watching over you and trying to give you advice from the other side.
Your sensitivity is both a gift and a curse. It is a curse because you cannot hide from the negative experiences, and a blessing because it points you to the things on which you have to work. The human incarnation is a schooling in using freedom of choice to take the lessons desired, shown to you through negativity, and turn them into positive understandings that can then be used on other negative situations.
Used properly, it is a win/win affair. Take each fear and doubt, ask why it is there, go into the process that brought it to you, understand that it is only a lesson, find a way to defuse the constant aggravation, and make it a positive learning forever. You rebuild one step at a time. Each conquered fear makes your burden less. As you strip off all the difficulties, you will feel the beautiful unconditional love energy of the universe.
Go slowly as you alter your life. You will find it is not as difficult as you have allowed yourself to feel it to be.