Making decisions, taking responsibility
QUESTION: Masters,I’m engaged with a man but we are more like friends than lovers. I care for him deeply but have stayed with him maybe because of my some unsolved personal issues. Recently I met a man with whom I feel connection, love and desire and I know I should make a choice but I can’t. I feel fear, despair and lack of courage and would have them both even if I know it is impossible. How could I move forward in this? ~Jenny,Finland
ANSWER: Your fiancé is a wonderful man but you think of him more as a protective brother than a lover. He, on the other hand, is deeply in love with you. Your personal issues of feeling betrayed, not being good enough, and not being able to trust people have kept you from searching for someone to love as a partner.
You have always had a strong need to be needed by someone, and your fiancé was the first one who treated you in that way unconditionally. You allowed the relationship to go all the way to a marriage proposal because he was the only one with whom you felt safe. He felt love for you and you felt needed by him; you had no idea what romantic love felt like at that time.
This new man has introduced you to a pure love attraction and not just a nurturing allure. You will tear yourself up if you do not decide what to do in this situation. Either decision is a winning one for you. Your fiancé will always love and cherish you, and the new attraction will introduce you to unbridled love. Both men have your best interests at heart.
It is impossible to have both of them at once unless they both are aware of the situation and consent. You have a tremendous amount of strength inside you, which you have never used out of fear. Your soul is a piece of Source with all the magnificent powers of Source. Bask in that power and see which life you desire. Tell your fiancé of your love for him but that you have not had a love attraction for him, and talk it out. He may find a way to let you feel the kind of attraction for him that he feels for you.
Talk to your new man about your fiancé, the safety he has brought to your life, and what fear is in the rest of the world for you. You will find he is all about sexual love but not about nurturing. Can you feel comfortable with sex and not being needed for anything else?