Finding your way
QUESTION: Masters, A few years ago I left my job and everything I built in another city because my oldest son was involved with drugs. We returned to my home town with my family. It worked, my son recovered and eventually returned to school. My husband came later, but never felt very happy here. In January, my husband and my son had a fight and since then our relationship has been difficult. At one point I asked the separation. Now, over the past six months we are thinking of rescuing our life together, but it requires me to move to another city and my son stay here. I’m willing to drop everything and try again, because I believe in our love and the other two children are very attached to their father. I wonder what else I can do so that father and son can finally have more harmony? Is my decision to keep the family together in line with my spiritual plane? ~Cláudia, Brazil
ANSWER: You have always made your decisions about life based upon the needs of others. It is time to take into consideration what feels best for you. Your son is old enough now to take responsibility for himself and his decisions. He and his father have too many obstacles between them right now. Your husband blames your son for his unhappy life since he was forced to come to this town because you chose to come here for your son.
You have given so much attention to that son that he is now jealous of the relationship between you and your husband, his father. They will both have to have time apart to consider that the various decisions you were forced to make weren’t to choose one of them over the other, but to help the whole family.
It is choice time for you and your future. Your husband loves you tremendously but feels he has been overlooked in your desire to help your son. If you are to rescue this relationship you must give it time without the stress of your eldest and his problems. You will not be deserting your son but giving him space to build his own life. You will be re-creating a family with the rest – your husband and the other children. You will be helping them as well to establish a stronger connection to their father.
Any choice you make will be in alignment with your spiritual path, which is to learn from the situations in which you find yourself involved. The purpose of life is to discover your inner strengths and the abilities you possess and then use those first to help yourself, and then to assist others if you wish. You have chosen others first and now it is time to find your feelings and satisfy them.