In search of love
QUESTION: Masters, I lived 53 years waiting for the encounter with the Love of my life. I married at 21, had three wonderful children, but did not love my ex-husband. It was a marriage very difficult for me, but thank God it’s over. Last year I met the man who made me know the true feeling of love. I loved him so much it hurt his chest. But I was forced to leave him. He had already made commitments family and I just fit in his life in the shadow. I’m not a woman to live in the shadow. Despite all this, I feel he loved me and still does. Somehow I feel that our destiny is connected. My question is: this sure is an illusion? I’m closing the doors to new opportunities real life? I pray for clarification. ~Rosali, Brazil
ANSWER: There is no absolute guarantee that souls will experience a “love of their life” in any particular lifetime. One of your life lessons has been to deal with a number of phases of love. You have seen – and rejected – marital love, excelled in familial love, and found the difficulties of tainted love.
You have delved into each type of love, worked with it, and decided what felt good to you and what was a waste of your time. Your marriage did not meet the standards you envisioned for true love, so you moved on. Your children’s love was of the highest order and you cherished their interactions with you.
When your lover appeared on the scene it was a carefree love for him, because he knew he did not intend to make it anything permanent. He played with you for his own gratification. Once you found you were not his first choice, you came out of the shadows he had made for you. You felt that type of love with no demands, and it was so different from your previous experiences that you really wanted it to last, regardless of the insincerity of the giver.
What you have felt is free love; it is not a “love of your life” sharing, totally involved, unconditional love. You want it to be more, but clinging to this experience will keep you away from new opportunities to find other types of love. He only loved the way he could control you because you sought love so severely. Learn to love yourself so that you are the center of the relationship and not just drifting along on the outside.