Are we going to get together?
QUESTION: Masters, I am 30 years old and stuck with my ex-boyfriend with whom I have been separated now for four years. I broke up with him because I wanted to be alone and find myself. And by the time I was ready to commit with him, he said he needs to have time alone to find himself. I feel I have closed my heart for others to even get close to me in a romantic way. I have had strong trust that we will get back together; even I don’t have any real evidence for that. I don’t know how to move on, because I would love to have serious romantic relationship and still he is not sure about me, same as I used to think about him. Are we getting back together or am I just living in fantasy world? ~Sisko, Finland
ANSWER: Are you aware of what you said in your question? “I am ‘stuck’ with my ex-boyfriend.” This is a conclusion that you have decided on and enforced. All souls have freedom of choice and can change their mind at any time.
This communique is all about you. It says nothing about wanting to share a relationship. You say it is on; you say you want a break; you want him back; and you are upset he wants time alone. Is there any wonder after the way you treated him four years ago that he might not want to trust that you will not do the same thing again?
You have closed your heart to anyone and anything that you have not decided on your own. He feels that while you say you are ready to commit, your actions and energy are not saying that. When you closed off others, it put an energetic “no trespassing” sign around you. You are doing this because you do not know what love is.
Spend time examining inner love for yourself. When you can love all aspects of your life, including the way you treat other people, you will be ready to get into a romantic relationship, but not until then. Right now you are living a fantasy life of the way you imagine you would like things to be, but there are no feelings or love involved. Find the love and then see if you can convey that to your old boyfriend or to someone who will love you for who you are now.