Who makes the rules?
QUESTION: Masters, I’ve been in a 2 and a half year happy relationship with a man 28 years older. Recently my life changed for the better, job, money, new clothes and a recent weekend in another country with 2 new male friends, and problems began. I feel an urge to live life and that he’s having issues with that. I’m also open minded not to care about age gaps or travelling with two male friends, which he claims there are rules that I have to follow and a committed woman can’t do. Right now I’m emotionally confused. I know I want to have a life and thrive, I’m not sure he agrees with that. I want to know if I can live a life with him, or if staying with him means not having a life of my own? What’s your perspective on our relationship and lessons to learn? ~Tia, UK
ANSWER: All humans live their lives through what are known as belief systems. These are sets of rules after which individuals pattern their life. The initial acceptance or learning of these rules comes from parents, teachers, society, etc., and people are unaware that they are living by a particular set of rules. Since all souls have freedom of choice, you have the ability to change the rules controlling your life any time you wish.
Those who are unaware of the particular origin of “their” rules think that all people are controlled by the same procedures. Your man is one of these. He thinks that all people are aware of “the rules” and that they cannot be modified or changed. That was the way he was raised, with strict adherence to the way it has always been. He is not going to change. He expects that you are familiar with his set of “the rules” and that they are what you live your life by.
Your man wants predictability. He wants to know exactly what you and all other people are going to do next. Control is very important to him. As long as you accept his rules and do not wish to change any of them, you will continue to have a happy relationship. If you wish to exert your freedom of choice, you will escape his pattern of living and he will be fearful of the outcome.
Nothing is right or wrong on your spiritual path. You must decide what you desire out of this lifetime. Whenever you ask yourself, “What do I think about this?”, the belief system or set of rules you are consenting to live by keeps a tight rein on you. If, instead, you ask, “How do I feel about this?”, you will be giving your spirit permission to make choices based solely on your desires, not the commands of others. With apologies to Shakespeare: “To live or not to live, that is the question.”