Life lessons playing out
QUESTION: Masters, I stay with my mother, father, wife and daughter. These days, conflict between me and my mother is extreme. From my childhood, I never liked my mother being over supportive to her sisters/brothers & their children. Whenever I tried to oppose her, I was pushed back and suppressed since I was kid. My father was also supporting her. Now since my father is suffering from paralysis and cannot work more, I am taking most decisions and do work related to my family, property, money etc. She always puts hurdles for what I decide and wants me to do the things which she wants, with which I do not agree. Please advise why we both are behaving in such manner and why our decisions never match. Does this relate with any past life issue? When this will come to an end? ~Rajkumar, India
ANSWER: You chose this life plan to learn that it is impossible to control anyone else unless they allow it, and that you have to respect what others choose as their lesson plan. Your mother is a very insecure woman. She thinks that others will like or love her only if she does things for them. This does not relate to you in her mind because she thinks a child will always love his parent, so she has always catered to her family members over you to get their acceptance. Your father desperately wants her to be happy, so he defers to her wishes.
Your decision right now is how much interference you want to put up with in the family dealings. One of your lessons is self-confidence and not caring what others say about what you do. You have a history of despising your mother’s family because they got what you felt was your entitlement. You are jealous of the past and are overly sensitive now to the present.
Your mother feels she will lose the love of her family if she doesn’t continue what she has done in the past. She does not realize the financial situation has changed because of your father’s condition. She is like a river that is firmly in its channel. The spring floods come and it tries to stay where it has been in the past but is gradually being edged into a different path. Give her some time.
How firm you are with her is up to you. This is a lesson for you, and you have total freedom of choice as to how long it lasts. If you feel you are in the right, since it is now your responsibility to take care of things, don’t let interference push you out of the required track. This is not a carryover from a past life. This will come to an end for you when you resolve not to let it bother you any longer.