From the frying pan into the fire
QUESTION: Masters, I am divorcing soon and have struggled with this decision but it is done. I have a male friend of 18 years and I have always had a strong connection to him. I wonder now if he was more than just a friend and I never realized it. Unfortunately he is now incarcerated and I am worried what others might think. Am I on the right path since my marriage didn’t go so well? I am so confused. I wish to unblock myself of anything that is hurting me, heal myself, develop helping abilities, and find my life purpose. ~Michelle, USA
ANSWER: Your life’s purpose is to discover as much about your essence, your soul energy, as you can while you are in your human body. Discovering why your marriage did not work and that it was time to move on was all about learning one of those lessons. It took finding out your husband had been controlling you to make you see there were other ways to live.
During the time of your marriage he made most of the decisions, whether or not you agreed; as a matter of fact, you had no say at all. Once you accepted that you could choose what you felt was best for you, you understood the need to remove yourself from his control. This was not a failed marriage but an experience from which you learned more about yourself.
Since you have always been in situations where someone has told you what to do—your family, then your husband—you feel lonely and “needy.” Your thoughts about and infatuation with your male friend are merely your belief that you need someone, a male, to tell you what to do. You have never had to take total responsibility for your life. Assuming responsibility for all aspects of your existence is a new lesson for you to work through.
You need “alone” time to go into your feelings and see what blockages are within you. If you constantly run and hide or have others around to make the decisions, you will never be able to see the things upon which you need to work. The first step in your healing is awareness. Awareness is impossible if you cannot feel and see yourself because you are in the shadow of another.
Your friend is nothing more than that. And caring what others might think if you do something your feelings say is right for you says that those people know better what is right for you than you know yourself. Follow your own feelings and forget what others say.