Maintaining contact
QUESTION: Masters, my son died in December 2008. He contacted me a few days after to let me know everything was ok; it was a very special feeling—it was nice, lovely, impossible to describe exactly the good sensation I had. It would have been his 34th birthday today. Since then, I feel bad or sick every year for a few days around his birthday. This year I’m ok and without thinking of him I was unable to sleep last night and woke up many times during the night. This morning I realized something is going on here. Mother-child links are strong and maybe he is trying to communicate with me. Do you think he is having a message for me? If so, what could it be and how can I find it? ~Ginette, Canada
ANSWER: Your son loved you very much. You have shared several lifetimes together and one of the contracts you had for this life was for him to provide you with the lessons of abandonment, survivor’s guilt, and a physical sense of unconditional love.
One of the purest of physical sensations is the physical and emotional love possible between a parent and child, particularly the mother and child. She has carried and nurtured the child from the moment of conception until they are parted by some force or other. In most cases that love is unaffected by anything the child does—Mom is accepting of all foibles.
In human terms, parents are not supposed to out-live their children. When a child returns Home while the parent stays behind, the parent feels abandoned by their charge. It doesn’t matter if the child has not lived with them for decades—they are not supposed to inflict such pain on their parents. A longing begins to relive the days when the child was dependent.
Staying behind engenders a guilt that you have cheated fate and your child was taken instead of you. Why did you survive while he died? Digging into these feelings allows you to learn more about yourself. You will discover that all people are responsible for their own path, making choices both before coming and after arriving.
You have put a lot of work into integrating your lessons. Your son says, “Way to go, Mom!”