Masters of the Spirit World

QUESTION: Masters, I’m 40 years old, and I have a daughter from the first marriage. After 3 years of relationship with a lovely boyfriend, we decided to live together. I always told him that I want to have more kids, another son is from a lovely marriage. Than he tells me that he’s seropositive. We always had sex with condoms and I’m not sick, although it’s hard to stay with someone that has omitted the truth for something so serious during 3 years. As I love him, I decided to stay together, but he became alcoholic with depression, destroying himself, our relationship and our family. He doesn’t believe in God or spirituality. I really believe that love can heal everything, but he made me sad and frightened. I left him. I think that it was the right thing to do, but why am I so sad, and my life seems so empty of love and peace? Why it’s so hard to get on with my life? ~Adriana, Brazil

ANSWER: Do you devalue yourself so much that you think it is all right for this man to lie to you about an issue that is important to you? Plus, even with condoms, there is the possibility of his conveying his seropositive condition to you, potentially endangering your life. In addition to health issues, he is now alcoholic, depressed, and destructive. Why did you still remain with him? What is there to love? Leaving him was the only sensible thing to do.

He had power over you because you allowed him to. You are the type of person who believes a man is necessary for a woman to have a normal life. You have always been in dependent relationships where you relied on the decisions of the man. You need to bring a sharing partner to your life. To do that, you have to love and value yourself. You are as important, powerful, and worthy as any man who has ever existed.

Ask yourself: Do you love yourself? Do you love everything about yourself? If you are living the spiritual life you claim, you will know the difference between loving and liking. Loving comes from making the most of this lifetime to learn the chosen lessons, and knowing that most can only be learned through negativity; understanding the way not to do something allows you to learn how to do it.

Liking is judging yourself against the way others look, think, and act. Spirituality is letting go of judgment and the beliefs of others to live life as it feels best for you—how it resonates with you. It is possible to love everything about yourself yet not like all the things you are doing right now such as permitting others to take advantage of you. Just still love the fact you can make the decision to have it occur.

QUESTION: Masters, I feel like I’m stuck in this situation. I have a strong connection with a man that I’m told is my soul mate. I try to stop thinking about him but it is really hard to forget him. I am married, but I feel that I have stronger connection with this man I met some months ago. I feel like my love to my husband is more like compassion and to this other man it is burning and intense, with this deeper connection. I have heard my husband might not have been faithful to me – but he won’t confess anything. Today he is all the time telling how much he loves me and how beautiful I am. At the moment I really can’t find strong feelings like that towards him. Am I only making excuses to continue dreaming of that other man? Who is telling me the truth? ~NP, Finland

ANSWER: Souls come to Earth to have human experiences. One of those physical experiments is concerned with interpersonal relationships between men and women. Society has certain rules and regulations which they insist all should follow. Marriage is forever, couples should be monogamous: these are not spiritual restrictions.

You have been taught that it is wrong to love someone other than the person to whom you are married. Why? You have love also for family, children, your best friends, so why is it different? Most will say because it could involve sexual relations. These thoughts were not always observed. There was a time, when war seemed imminent, that the cry was for free love so that all might experience the bliss available. But we digress slightly from your problem.

Your husband still loves you but you don’t feel the same about him because you have grown at different rates. He is still at the level of when you met; you have become more aware of yourself and your life lessons. His type of love is one of convenience; your reciprocation is one of compassion. The excitement is gone. He has a lot of things outside the marriage to occupy him that he does not share with you; you need stimulation.

The intense feelings you got from the stranger come from someone with whom you have spent other lives. It is not merely a sign that you might be happy together; it occurred so that you would be awakened to your situation with your husband. It is also to let you know you have freedom of choice and nothing is written in stone. Go into your feelings and see where you want to be in a year or so. Ask if there is a future in your heart with your husband. Just stop using dreams about a stranger as an excuse for not facing your problems.

QUESTION: Masters, I have anxiety over my kids learning to drive. We live in a high traffic area (Seattle) and share our rainy roads with speeding tanker trucks and drivers on cell phones. We see an accident a month. I feel there is no margin for error since we live on a shoulder-less, hilly, curved road. They took driver’s ed [education] but haven’t put enough time in on the road to pass the driving test. I am too terrified to take them out after too many close calls. I drive them everywhere or they take public transportation. I feel like I am doing a disservice by not pushing them to drive. They are off to college and my husband is fine with them getting their license after college. Can you give my any help or insight? ~Carrie, USA

ANSWER: You are acting the part of the loving overprotective mother. It is very normal in society to want to protect your offspring from any danger coming from without and from within. Children never learn to take responsibility for their actions unless they are given the opportunity, so some decision-making is important. Your children are well grounded in preservation energy; they are not careless.

What we would caution you about is giving them the sense that they have something to fear regardless of their preparation for life. When you fixate on a scenario, the universe says, “Oh, interested in that? Let’s see what we can do to make sure you experience it.” You can call fears into physical being. When a child becomes aware of a parent’s fear, it becomes more real to them and they start to fear it as well and give it even more energy so it just has to appear.

There are many potential dangers in your world: traffic, wild animals, unstable earth, crazy humans—all can be held at bay if you say, and really believe the truth of your statement, “I do not need to experience this!” You don’t have to practice at first on your curvy road. You can give the kids wheel time in parking lots, school yards, city streets, and open highways; then you move up to your road.

The important thing is what they think. Do they feel somewhat deprived because they don’t have a license like their friends? Are they ashamed or embarrassed that their parents have to take them places? Or are they in no hurry to get behind the wheel? Let them make up their own minds. If after college is fine with them, then wait. But don’t let your fears arouse their fears.