Masters of the Spirit World

QUESTION: Masters, I find the relationship I have with my father very confusing. Sometimes I feel like he’s hugely controlling. Sometimes I feel like he’s massively helping me. And because of the latter I tend to not understand or am able to process the former. Part of me thinks he’s a master manipulator, part of me thinks he’s just trying to be a good Dad. I’m being very careful not to put my own emotions into this because they have gone from love to rage with regards to him. There was a time about 10 years ago or more when I was advancing spiritually very quickly, and it was almost as if he sensed it and threw up such an emotional storm for me that I had to stop. With your help I’d like to understand what I hoped to learn from my father coming into this life. ~Steven, UK

ANSWER: You chose your father to be the center of a circular life. Everything has revolved around him pulling you in and not allowing you to go outside his influence without deciding to be dragged back in rather than letting go. Family has been a part of your identity which you have given controlling force over decision making.

Societal definitions of the relationship and obligations a son “owes” to his father have played a major role in your behavior. The parts you each chose are not typical. In the incidents where he has been massively helpful, he has been a teacher, a best friend, and a guide, not a father. He thrives on control and manipulation, which you have believed is a part of a father’s role. However, that is not normally the case – it is a part of his life lesson only.

When you talk about your emotions, you are actually referring to the emerging acceptance of your inner essence. It appears as an intuition about the choices you have if you don’t let the father-son relationship make you think you have no choice. The love/rage dichotomy is the positive/negative solution to a life lesson.

His reaction to your spiritual journey reflected his fear that you would cut the bonds of his influence in accepting your own path. Spirituality is all about oneself, why you are here, and what you have to learn. It is a solo endeavor, and another’s influence only prevents growth.

What you came to learn is when you are fulfilling your own freedom of choice vs. when you are giving it up to your father under the guise of responsibility. The journey is yours alone.

QUESTION: Masters my question is about long term relationships. People do change and may need different things in a relationship but surely this doesn’t mean it’s impossible to remain in a loving lifelong relationship? If someone changes because they are unwell, wouldn’t a loving response be to stay and care for them? We all change continuously really, so isn’t part of the nature of human love about partners in a relationship accepting each other as we change and finding the love in the ever changing present? ~Carly, Australia

ANSWER: Every soul who is having a human experience creates their own reality by the choices they make. Part of their lesson choice may be to be altruistic and to take care of others at the expense of their own journey and learning. Society suggests the sanctity of marriage and the responsibility of one party for the other is not optional. But this is a choice, not a requirement, in the spiritual prospective.

If you sense that a lesson of yours is to be dogged in your care for your spouse, then that is what you should do. If you understand that your spiritual journey is a solo affair where you are only responsible for your own growth, then marriage is simply a societal obligation that is binding only if you so decide.

There are many things that can prevent a long-term relationship. One partner wonders off into other pastures, never looking back. Should the remaining partner keep the home fires burning awaiting their return? That is a freedom of choice question.

The type of loving response you ask about concerns the third-dimensional choice within the duality of positive and negative. Exiting the duality and becoming enlightened removes the negative aspect to physical love and makes it unconditional and positive only. That results in nothing being right or wrong but just a choice of what can teach you the most. Blindly accepting another’s changes is saying that they know more about what you need to grow than you do. There may be no love coming from them to find.

As people change with the experiences they have, they may no longer be suited for the union that once seemed perfect. Becoming proficient at addition and subtraction will serve you little in calculus. And if your partner has not advanced in mathematics, you may no longer have anything to share and to talk about. The choice, of course, is always yours to make. But, do honor yourself and your reason for incarnating.

QUESTION: Masters I’ve been married for 40 years. Though we’ve been through lots of critical moments, I considered we’ve helped each other to grow individually, and as parents. Nowadays we seem to have no affective connection, no affinity, no mutual interest except when it refers to our daughters or to material issues. My current objective in life is my spiritual growth, while he despises this matter. On the other hand, he has a good heart. Help me to understand what I can learn from this and how I deal with the needs of both, without disrespecting one another as usually happens? ~Sue, Brazil

ANSWER: When you were a child you shared interests with school chums. As you grew older some of them turned to science, some music, some business, and some raising a family. Were you to meet up with them at this time, you would find very few shared interests and little to talk about.

You and your husband have each had different contacts and experiences during the last 40 years. Each experience has changed your initial common connection and driven you in separate directions away from a shared interest. As you have stated, your current primary considerations couldn’t be further apart from each other. This is the way of souls having human experiences.

No two souls follow the same path. The journey is a solo affair for every soul who exercises freedom of choice to learn the lessons chosen before incarnating. Even though you joined together for part of the journey, self-interests have steered you away from each other.

No one can force another individual to come to their way of thinking unless that person is willing. Your choice now is to try to maintain a partnership where you both have the same destination or to honor yourself and go your own way. This is not being disrespectful unless you try to force-feed each other the principles you have adopted.

He is not going to come into spirituality, so you have to decide to remain and move forward or go back and join his beliefs. You can live harmoniously as long as you only talk about your daughters and household affairs.