Masters of the Spirit World

QUESTION: Masters, I have been about 10 years in unsatisfactory relationship, but it´s very difficult decision to take divorce. Is this karmic relationship? We had problems already from the beginning of the relationship. I hadn´t satisfied did I love her enough, though I wanted to be with her. Actually I didn´t know what is love and I don´t know it even now. I have learned a lot from her in spiritual topics, but we quarrel almost every day and it´s very wearing though I understand that we have to learning forgiveness. However, I wonder is this because of the fact that we haven´t been created for each other or do I just live too much thru my ego? Are these conditions linked to my life lessons? If I divorce, do I get same lessons later or is my lesson to take responsibility for my own happiness taking divorce? ~Anton, Finland

ANSWER: There is no such thing as one soul being created for another soul. All souls are alike, and frequently a soul will ask another to enter into a relationship once on Earth so they might learn from the circumstances. You had determined you wanted to spend a life studying all aspects of love, the first of which is understanding love. You are still searching for that knowledge.

Your wife came along, as she had agreed, and in your search for love she seemed a good candidate to assist you in your studies. She was pleasant enough and, you thought, compatible enough for you to make a life together. You assumed marriage equals love – not so. There is also nothing karmic here because karma does not exist; there simply is no punishment for working through your chosen life lessons.

The only part of your ego interfering with a solution to your situation is the judging of right and wrong. Spiritual evolution or awakening comes through evaluating whether your current actions are allowing you to understand and move forward. What has happened is neither right nor wrong from that perspective.

Both of you had chosen to deal with being honest with your spouse and maintaining your own power in life. Accepting that the current arrangement is hindering rather than assisting you with your lessons shows you a change will help. Both of you have taught each other things you wished to experience, but little remains of this relationship but dealing with conflict.

Realizing your personal decisions and what has occurred because of them, you can create a different future by your choices going forward. You need to explore “love” in other places, such as in yourself. See if you can love being able to make choices that enrich your life. Love that you have accomplished finding respect of self in your life. You won’t have to repeat anything you understand.

QUESTION: Masters, I have a continuous fear in my relationship. I’ve had it with every intimate relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve logically concluded that I can’t blame my parents or my past any more. Logically I open myself to the fact that my partner is on his own journey and will take whatever path he desires. I will still be whole and on my own journey if that occurs. However, the fears still come up. I’ve tried working with them, journaling, feeling through them, ignoring them, etc. Why do these fears constantly come up for me and what can I do to work through them? I know my flaws and I don’t want to hurt myself and hurt my beloved, but at some level maybe I do in order to stay in control? I see how good he is and he treats me extremely well but the doubts remain. ~Raven, United States

ANSWER: Your fears and doubts are the signposts showing you where your life lessons are presenting themselves to you. Using logic is relying on what society says should happen and what has worked for others as they have reported. Logic is judgment – the work of the ego – and has nothing to do with a spiritual evaluation of the events you are facing.

The fears keep returning because you are thinking about them logically but not dealing with them emotionally and spiritually. They pop up because there is a lesson triggering their appearance and you are not paying attention to it. When one appears ask yourself: Why is this here? How does it make me feel? What past event did I bury instead of completing the learning process?

Don’t “think” the answers, but allow yourself to “feel” them. This will take you to the events you need to work through. You can then see what you have been holding on to instead of releasing. Acknowledge that you can clean these things out of your “closet” and have room to live without these ghosts remaining in hiding.

“Flaws” are your excuse for looking the other way when changes are required. Being in control is one of your lessons. Control is an illusion. No one can really control another unless that person consents. No one can control a situation because with each additional person involved, there are that many variables to multiply into the equation until it is overwhelming.

Hold on to and unconditionally love that fantastic man you have. You have nothing to doubt about him. See him for who he is and don’t paint him with your fears from any other time in your life.

QUESTION: Masters, there was a man who was important to me, I was in love with him. Our relationship was complicated. It was as if we were to two opposite and complementary at the same time. I had no doubt the feeling I had for him but I felt his hesitation and it hurt me. In the end he rejected me and married another woman. The last time I talked to him I was rude and threw my frustration on him and the result was that he cut me out of his life. Masters, he feels hurt and resentment for me? He is happy now that I got out of his life? Despite everything that happened, I felt the anger that cannot be, I do not wish you had done so. It is possible that we two meet again in one day? ~Cristiane, Brasil

ANSWER: It is impossible to make others mirror the feelings you have for them unless they are wholeheartedly in agreement with your sensations. Why did it hurt you that he did not have the same feelings for you? You were disappointed because he did not live up to your expectations? That is a bit selfish and controlling of you. What if it had been the other way around and he wanted you but your feelings for him were just not there? Would you like it if he tried to force you as you attempted to do to him?

You are acting just like a spoiled child who is throwing a tantrum because it didn’t get its way. If you had been on the receiving end of the nastiness you placed on him, you too would have cut off all contact and said, “Good riddance, and never darken my door again.”

He absolutely cannot stand you at this time and feels very sorry for you for resorting to juvenile behavior. He does not wish to see you again in this lifetime. Get over it and move on. If you are angry at anyone, be angry at yourself for trying to force him to love you when he couldn’t. He is very happy in a sharing partnership.

From the beginning of your next connection, be totally honest about your desires. Look upon it as a sharing relationship and not your own little playground. Honor your mate’s wishes and not just your own.