Masters of the Spirit World

QUESTION: Masters I am pretty sure that my husband is my twin flame, I love him dearly. However, I am having a hard time dealing with his parents and sisters. They are all very superficial and materialistic people, they seem to be obsessive about us and they are always trying to control our lives. I am struggling to set boundaries but I don’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings. I usually feel drained and exhausted every time I need to be with them and because of that I don’t want to meet them very often. Why are they so difficult to deal with? What can I do about it? Should my husband be the one to set boundaries? Should I ask him to do so? ~Matilda, Brazil

ANSWER: The magic in maintaining and containing relationships is communication. To have that perfect sharing relationship, it is imperative that your husband be aware of all of your feelings, both between you and him, and between you and the other members of his family. Let him know how they impinge on your life and that they take your energy when they are near so that you are exhausted.

Your husband is not your twin flame; if he were, the only thing either of you would see in this world is each other. You would not feel the need to interact with anyone else. His focus would be on you alone, and he would not have any contact with his family.

His family is jealous of the connection the two of you share. You are content, happy, and positive most of the time, which intrigues them because they tend to be negative, unhappy, and angry. He has grown up with their energy around him and has built up a barrier to its affecting him. Unless you explain to him the impact their actions have upon you, he will not recognize the problem.

You must accept that he is on his own journey, and dealing with his family is part of that trip. That does not mean that you have an obligation to spend any more time with them than is comfortable for you. Another possibility is for you to surround yourself with positive energy every time you have contact with them so they are not able to steal your energy. Whenever they try to control your life, thank them for their interest and tell them you have considered their input and it doesn’t feel suitable to you.

QUESTION: Masters, I feel drawn to the man who is unable to commit to me, but feels attracted to me, at times I feel his love. He is distant and evasive when I talk about feelings, he does not answer. However, he is unable to give, he always takes again and again to us and then again disappears. He lives alone, he is a kung Fu sensei a very responsible person. What is his emotional effort? What is wrong with him? ~Katja, Finland

ANSWER: This man is using you because of your gentle, giving personality. You want so desperately to have a relationship that you do not see his lack of honesty and integrity. He does not know what the meaning of love is – he only knows how to take and get others to think he is fantastic. What you feel is interest, not love.

Being a Kung Fu Master means nothing if you see it only as a martial arts practice for making money and keeping other people in line. As a sensei, he feels people should obey all his requests without question. Inside, he fears others will recognize the lack of social skills that make him shy away from personal commitment. He is afraid of being vulnerable in front of others because he doesn’t think himself worthy. This is why he overreacts so strenuously in his business.

You intrigue him because you know who you are and are not afraid to let others see your triumphs but also your failings. He was abused physically and psychologically as a child. His response was to become strong enough not to have any fear of being physically bettered in the future. Psychologically, he distances himself from people so he can avoid being emotionally susceptible to harm.

He has blocked out his past and constructed a scenario where he has always been strong, feared, and untouchable. This intensifies his need to be alone, away from people who might see who he is.

He is working through the life lessons he set up for himself. He has become much more observant lately and is trying to understand how other people interact. Your purpose in his life is as an example of trusting and being totally open with someone. He is not ready yet to take this step. Have patience with him if you wish to remain in his life.

Nothing is right or wrong on your journey. You have total freedom to choose whether to stay in this situation or move on to another where you may meet someone who is ready to start a sharing relationship devoid of fear.

QUESTION: Masters, I am married and have particular difficulty understanding the relationship of my husband with my youngest son, I am extremely attached and I  cannot take part unless I make the effort to do whatever they want, but that does not make part my nature, what happens in this relationship which my function in this relationship?   I have 3 children, I love very much my children, but I have no attachment to them, I am guiding them, I also like that with everyone else, totally detached. Is there something wrong with me in this regard? ~Tais, Swizerland

ANSWER: You see your children as possessions and are jealous of the close personal relationship that exists between your youngest and your husband. You have a fear that your son can only love one of you, and you have to insinuate yourself between husband and son to feel safe. Your son loves both of you, but you are beginning to worry him with your possessiveness.

You do not accept or love yourself and can love another only to the degree you feel love for yourself. Acceptance is what will provide any attachment or sense of belonging in a family. You see only yourself and do not see or feel the needs of any of the other members of your family.

It is not wrong to be unable to attach to or attract other people, but it limits the life lessons you can learn. Lack of interaction puts you on the outside of any situation, merely observing and not able to take part. It is possible to see how others are learning their lessons, but you have no actual experience.

One of your life lessons was to be able to see that you “stood apart” from the rest of the world and to decide what, if anything, you wished to do about it. You can spend this entire existence as an observer, or you can choose to open to others and start interacting with them.

You have a barrier around yourself that prevents you from feeling anyone else. As long as this remains, your sensitivity is shielded from the energy around you and others. To open or remove this blockage, you must want to remove it. You must reach out and touch the energy that exists. You will be able to feel both the positive, loving energy and the negative, disruptive energy. Feeling this, you can choose that which you want to have in your life and push away what you don’t desire. This will allow you to attach to those from whom you feel love.