Masters of the Spirit World

QUESTION: Masters, am I the only one who needs to deal with the problem between my husband and me? I have tried to find a way not to pay attention to my husband as he is looking at other women but I haven’t been able to find the way. What do I or we need to learn? Why can’t I just leave my behavior? Meditation has helped me but sometimes I just can’t help my negative thoughts towards my husband when I feel his energy towards other women. ~Annam, Finland

ANSWER: You wished to study the various aspects of jealousy in this lifetime. You also are dealing with a lack of self-confidence and self-worth, and with being able to stick up for yourself and voice your feelings. He is not going to change his wandering nature, so what bothers you is for you alone to deal with. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior.

To remedy your feelings, ask first exactly what it is that bothers you the most. You see everything he does as a judgment of your worth and his desire for you. The only opinion about yourself that is important is what you feel. If you are confident in who you are, his judgment means only that he has an opinion.

Whenever a person is more concerned about the opinions of others than they are about their own evaluation, they are saying to themselves, and the world, that other people’s thinking is more important than their own. You need to value yourself. Put aside what others say and think and appreciate who you are.

Tell your husband that his behavior is very disrespectful to you and you wish him to change. He will become defensive, which will tell you he is acknowledging that his actions are not as they should be. See if you can resolve this lack of respect, and if not, you will have to decide how much more you wish to endure.

You have the freedom of choice to stay or go – put up with being disrespected or call a halt and move on.

QUESTION: Masters, I am so incredibly lonely. Not me, and not us as a small family are able to create a good life with friends and positive relationships. All we experience is sporadic encounters, and after – it seems like the other people just forget we are here. I think right now we could just die and nobody would notice it. I have no idea of how to choose the positive alternative and gain spiritual wisdom from this. I don’t know what the lesson is here. I have looked at my feelings of not good enough, and not deserving, but this doesn’t change this issue. I would appreciate some light on this matter so I can go forward. ~Anne, Norway

ANSWER: Your difficulties do stem from the way you feel about yourself. Your feeling of being unworthy of other people’s trust and attention, your low self-image, and your lack of confidence all prevent you from being able to fit in with others around you.

Once you have established a connection with someone, you shift all the focus onto them to maintain the association. You feel once you have joined some group, it is up to them to make the next move. It is almost like when you went to school, you got yourself there but then left all decisions and directions up to the teacher and took no responsibility whatsoever for bolstering or enhancing the experience.

When you sit idly by and expect your newly acquainted friends to initiate all further contact, they get the idea you don’t really want to know them and be friends with them because you have nothing to contribute to the union. You must be proactive. You have to call them and plan to go for coffee or a stroll.

You and those you come in contact with are all the same. All souls broke off from Source energy and have the same powers and abilities. One of those is total freedom of choice. In your case, the choices involve how you wish to interact with others.

You need to start with seeing yourself as a magnificent piece of Source. You have had previous experiences that you can share with others, but it all starts with loving yourself for everything you have been able to endure. When you step back and get out of the fear that you have drawn to yourself, choose to embrace happiness in being free to join with others. Get rid of all the negative expectations of failure to which you have been clinging.

QUESTION: Masters I met the person I’m in love with in college. From the beginning we felt a strong connection and know each other very well. We had an almost relationship this year, but decided it was not the right time, because we were not achieving progress in other areas of our lives. Sometimes I feel that he will never be ready for a relationship. I would like to have a larger vision of our contract. I have trouble trusting people. ~G. P. T., Brazil

ANSWER: You do not have a contract for a relationship with this person. When it comes to engaging in romance during a human experience, rarely does the soul make a contract. The reason for this is that a contract restricts the opportunities that can enrich the lifetime. Each soul has freedom of choice to determine what they want to do and when. They may change their mind at any time and go in another direction.

Your love is very immature and always wants someone to tell him what to do and how to do it. That is one of the reasons that he is not progressing with his lessons and lifework in this incarnation. He never chooses to take responsibility for the few decisions that he does make on his own. It is much easier to always blame someone else – whoever has urged a certain decision – for the matter not turning out as he wanted it to.

His progress is non-existent at this time and may never change. He is not a sharer but rather selfish in his plans. You will not be able to get him to commit to any relationship where you have a say in how it goes. He wants total control. If this is how you see spending the rest of your life, then wait around until he can make a decision. He also takes energy away from you when you are together so that you feel tired and confused. It is a part of his makeup to live off the energy of others since it is so easy.

It is time to ask yourself what you see for a future professionally, socially, and spiritually. Learn to seek out your feelings about a situation and see if it is loving and comfortable. If a scenario is one-sided and not sharing, you will not have a say in the relationship. Honor your strengths. Do only what makes you feel marvelous. Bring to yourself that which you desire; some things come to you for you to determine that they are not what will enhance your life’s journey. Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere.