Masters of the Spirit World

QUESTION: Masters I am a grown woman with kids. However, I have a mother that is extremely clingy and demanding and wants me to visit and stay with her all the time. If I do not visit at least once a week she gets very sulky, angry and upset. I have explained constantly to her that with kids, work, and study I can’t always be there for her but she is selfish and doesn’t care. My husband wants to move to another state, but she gets furious and angry even when I mention this possibility. She is 92 and in very good health, so I feel guilty and pressured to be there for her. I understand she is being selfish but I can’t help feeling guilty. Though I do try to not pander to her. Is this a past life karmic relationship? And how can I best deal with it. ~Lola, Australia

ANSWER: You are allowing yourself to be manipulated, controlled, badgered, and intimidated. You owe this woman, who just happens to be called your mother, nothing. Think back over your lifetime during all the circumstances when she could have been beneficial to you and chose not to help because it was inconvenient for her. Looking at your life, why do you feel guilty? You have never done anything to generate those feelings.

Age does not bestow the privilege to dictate to others. Granted, she is lonely right now, but mostly that is of her own doing. She has not ingratiated herself with others with whom she could share her time. She figures she has you at her beck and call, so why should she seek out anyone else?

Do not let her control your life. Your purpose in life is to provide for your family and grow them into caring, loving individuals. Seeing you catering to an ungrateful mother is not setting a very good example for them.

Your husband’s desire to move is based on the future of his family. While he understands your mother’s desire to be the center of your universe, she should not be, and it frustrates him that you give in so easily. This is a lesson for you in discerning the importance of each aspect of your life. You are not honoring or loving yourself. You have freedom of choice. Don’t let others make your choices for you.

This is not “karmic” as you call it because that would imply that it is a punishment. This is a lesson in self-worth and understanding character issues such as guilt, obligation, allowing others to control, and being true to your own path in life.

QUESTION: Masters, my spouse is very loving and a tender lover but our problem is that he cannot get physical satisfaction without imaging me making love with someone else. I feel very sad and hurt about it because I am quite romantic woman. He tells me that he has always had this problem. Why is he like that? Has he had some experiences in some previous life that has made him to be like he is. He says that he loves me but he also says that he would be very excited if he would find out that I had made love to some other man. I feel very hurt about thoughts like that. Is there a way to solve this problem? ~Maria, Finland

ANSWER: Your husband suffers from a lack of self-confidence and worth. He feels he does not deserve you but can vicariously get satisfaction by being a voyeur watching you with someone else. This is a continuing problem from past and current lives.

In a past life he was disfigured and no woman would let him touch her. He set up a watching position where he could observe women being pleasured in a whorehouse he owned, and that was the only satisfaction he received. In this life, his subconscious imagines he is repugnant to you and therefore he envisions a replacement that would better suit you as a lover.

He will not be able to change unless he confronts these beliefs he has so ingrained within him. A good start would be revisiting his past life through hypnosis and realizing that he is not the person he was in that life. Exploring his problems with confidence issues and self-worth will also allow him to see his beliefs in a different light.

Do not think that he has any idea how severely his actions are affecting you. He would never consciously do anything to cause you discomfort, but he is unable to be comfortable in a normal relationship. He can understand all the implications of his wayward beliefs if you talk to him and help him get a realistic idea of his actions.

QUESTION: Masters my marriage is practically over but I am still with him because we have a baby together and I fear that she will suffer if we separate. I am kind of waiting for when she is a bit older so I can explain to her the situation. Am I making this right by her to stick with an unhappy marriage? My husband won’t change for the better so I can’t see any reconciliation. ~Adriana, Brazil

ANSWER: Children are extremely sensitive to the energies around them. They know how their parents are feeling about each other and how each is reacting to the actions of the other. Even as a baby she understands you are not happy. If the situation gets rougher as she ages, she may think your problems are brought on by her presence – which would be somewhat accurate in this case since you are staying in the negative marriage because of her.

It is true that your husband does not see that his behavior is causing distress. He is very egotistical and thinks you should change your expectations to fit with his actions. It is not that he could not change; he just won’t unless he changes his current way of looking at life. He is happy being a father as long as it does not interfere with what he wants to do.

When fetuses discuss their future before coming to Earth, they know the potential for difficulties they could face. Your daughter knew that entering your family could lead to a split within a short time after her arrival. Of course, she now has amnesia concerning that but did wish to see how she would handle this situation were it to occur.

Every soul has freedom of choice in directing their human life. Even with your daughter in the mix, you need to decide what the best outcome is for you. It will not be good for you to become more and more anxious and unhappy by imagining what is affecting your child and ignoring what is causing you to be miserable.