Dangerous love
QUESTION: Masters, I love my best friend. She does not share the romantic feelings but there is great understanding and connection between us. Our relationship is purely platonic. Unfortunately someone she loves but with whom she is no longer together, threatened to kill me if I were to ever become close to her because of my sexuality and romantic feelings. I find it disturbing since my friend has never mentioned that to him and of the unknown methods he is using to extract information about people connected to her. Surely you must know how she has been treated by him both mentally and emotionally. I was never involved in their relationship. But as her friend, I want her to be safe and his obsession will haunt her. Why is there so much of intensity between them? Are they soul-mates or twin flames? Why is there sudden animosity against me? ~V., Singapore
ANSWER: The situation between your friend and her ex is a lesson they are sharing. It is not simple but has a number of different layers. He is, first and foremost, a very jealous person. He has tried to control every aspect of your friend’s life. He is very observant and didn’t need to be told about your feelings—he could sense them from things that were said and left unsaid.
These two are not soul mates or twin flames. He is learning all about control and she about discernment and not releasing her power to another. She has self-esteem issues that he uses to belittle her into doing what he wants. Even though they are no longer together he still influences her from afar. These are lessons that only she can resolve.
You may assist her by helping her examine her feelings about herself and why she so easily defers to others. She does not want to take responsibility for her decisions so she lets others make all the choices for her. Help her to love and value herself and see there is freedom of choice at every stage of life and that she can only learn if she steps up and makes those decisions herself.
He, on the other hand, is a very fearful person. He continually makes threats, particularly to females, but will not follow through with anything physical. He cannot stand confrontation if someone else is the aggressor. He can only have control over you and your friend if you allow it.