Learning with sex
QUESTION: Masters, in my profession I counsel many people who seem to be consumed by sexual problems. One women expresses a need she meets by taking many lovers, while another finds all her romances are dominated by men unavailable to make the relationship permanent. One man is anxious about his hunger to view mild pornography. Is there a common lesson to be learned through all these sexual difficulties?
ANSWER: A very simple answer is a resounding no! But when did we ever stop at that? All jesting aside, each of these individuals is dealing with different lessons that are using the same tool, sexuality, to allow the person to see the symptoms of the deeper problem.
Your relentless lover is looking for love—not romantic love but the love of herself. She hates everything about herself, the way she is compulsively driven into the arms of anyone who will have her, the self-loathing of being out of control and not being able to do anything about it, and the fear that she is not good enough for someone to remain in a single relationship.
The woman who always puts herself in situations where she cannot be completely satisfied, feels she is unworthy of a lasting union. She does not want to commit to a marriage because she also fears being dominated, so she insures that cannot happen by becoming involved only with married men. She feels that her actions provide her protection, but in fact, they prevent her from awareness of self.
Your gentleman voyeur has a fear of intimacy. He yearns to have personal and physical contact but he fears that he will be ridiculed for some reason. He loathes what he feels is his image. Once told he was dorky and ugly, he fears rejection. To him, if he were ever rejected by a hot-looking babe, that would be the ultimate condemnation confirming his lack of being normal. He cannot accept himself.
To a majority of humans, interpersonal relationships culminating in sex are the supreme determination of a successful life. The energetic state at the point of orgasm approximates the shear elation felt within the energy of Home. Is it any wonder then that so many of the lessons, as enumerated above, are worked out in the arena of sex?