Illness as a message
QUESTION: Masters, I am a physician of 22 years’ service, employing a holistic approach using orthodox medicine, homeopathy, and acupuncture. I have been employed, never having my own practice. There is always the same cycle to my work. I start, everything is rosy, they start taking advantage of me, and the working environment gets so hostile after a while that I quit and move on. This is happening again. I became really ill and have had surgery a few times because of this pattern, and now I am to have surgery again after having had the last one only months ago. I am starting to think that my profession is not what I am intended to do and that is why I always experience the same negative outcome. I start to think that something is severely wrong with me because I am afraid I will fail if I start my own practice. As my health is rapidly declining, I really need to know what I am doing wrong, and what I can do to correct this before I get so ill that I will be permanently damaged. ~cc, Germany
ANSWER: You are a magnificent soul, a piece of Source that has all the properties of Source. Your illness is your barometer of accomplishment and success. When you get to a position where you should take hold of the reins and move on, you stick in the saddle and ride that wild horse for fear of the unknown. You do not want to assume responsibility for your life.
You figure that as long as you are an employee you will be protected. Problem is, you are easily a better healer than anyone for whom you have ever worked. They become jealous of your skills and connection to your patients, and as their patients fall off, they start to use you for their own profit, while they step back and work you like a pack mule. Your constant illnesses are the result—your body is speaking out whenever you are afraid to take action or hesitate to depend on yourself.
You do not need the recurring medical problems if you will merely make your own decisions about the rest of your life. You are fantastic at what you do, but—freedom of choice—you can throw it all away just because you are afraid to be responsible for your own practice.
If you put a fraction of the effort into your own business that you have done in all the others, you will be fabulously successful. Think of all the people you have helped who could not get help from other means. Be your own patient. Help yourself to move on just by using the same abilities you have always used which come so naturally to you. Take responsibility for your future without depending on others.