Rash actions aftermath
QUESTION: Masters, two years back, I suddenly parted myself from the company where I worked without giving any notice. I was feeling the owner had planted nasty politics against me and I wanted to teach him a lesson. Though this owner had a great respect for me, in my angry disposition, I just walked out of the office one day, leaving a lengthy explicit note on his table about how cruel he had been to a person (me) who had done a lot for the organization. After two years I remember the incident and cry at my stupid and rash behaviour and wish I had talked to him and cleared out the differences. My mind says I was right in giving him a dose as he was indeed planning something nasty against me. He has a reputation like this of being very insecure, calculative, manipulative, and firing people after he extracts and makes use of smart employees’ talents and best skills. My heart misses him and keeps telling me he was not his typical tough self with me as he has been with others, being quite romantic and domesticated towards me. Strangely, now I feel him to be my twin flame and long very dearly to be with him forever as he remains in mind 24/7. I know he will never call me because of the way I treated him. Masters, please guide me. Is this person my twin flame? Are we destined to be reunited? If not, how should I erase him from my mind? Is our Karmic Connection over? Please guide me how to end my agony. ~Anonymous, India
ANSWER: This man is not your twin flame or even a soul mate. It is your sense of guilt that has required you to give a reason to yourself for your actions. You cannot think clearly about anything that happened here, as demonstrated by your contradictory question. You say you “knew” he was going to do something to you because of your diligence, as he had done to others, but you don’t really know that. You claim he had planted misinformation about you but then that he was always kind, loving, and respectful to you.
You intimated that he had been cruel to you but you don’t know exactly how you came to that conclusion. How could you possibly know what he was planning against you? This is your justification for your own actions. What we are feeling from you at the moment is guilt, confusion, and embarrassment for your rashness. Nothing is right or wrong in this world and things can always be looked at from many different sides.
The past is past and cannot be redone. You have to accept that fact. What you do with the future is important. Center yourself in the moment with no past and no future. How do you feel about yourself in this moment? What would you like to manifest for your immediate future? Start seeing that as a possibility, then take actions to bring it into being.
If you want to see if anything can flourish between you and your former boss, send a letter of apology for your rash behavior. Ask to meet with him to talk it out. If he has any feeling for you now he will meet with you. If he doesn’t he will either ignore the letter or send a terse response. If his reply is negative, know that he is not ready to rekindle anything that was there and you have to move on. If his reply is positive, just see where it can take you.