Relationship responsibilities

August 27th, 2019

QUESTION: Masters I’ve always been a little detached from the family, at least I always feel that way. But after my awakening I got further apart. I feel like running the world, living new things, living alone but there’s always the thought that I’m being selfish, that I’m not caring much for family (Grandmothers, Uncles). Sometimes I think they (my family) are selfish in the sense that they think everyone has to be around all the time hitting the other’s life. It has bothered me so much lately; I know I can get rid of it and create the life I want. But I want the advice of you my master and guides. What do you have to tell me about it? ~Ju, Brazil

ANSWER:  In the duality of human life, there are differing ways to look at common actions based upon your perspective. If you are engaging in the battle of negative and positive choices, which freedom of choice allows, you are using society’s basic tool, which is ego. Ego is powered by judgment and everything is either right or wrong.

The spiritual approach to life steps away from judgment and spends its time evaluating if what you are observing is beneficial to your growth or not. There is no judgment and no ego.

Life’s journey is carried out by each soul individually. You cannot learn from depending on anyone else. All the choices must be your own, completed for understanding why you have come to Earth. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself.

As you have moved away from judgment during your awakening, you no longer accept the judgment society used to impose upon you, such as having a responsibility toward those related to you. This awareness is making you feel uncomfortable because the relatives are constantly reminding you of it since they benefit from having you fawn over them.

Part of your growth includes having confidence in your own feelings. You should never do something just because someone else demands it. You should always honor yourself by making your own decisions. The people are craving the strong energy you now give off in your enlightened state and are more eager to have you at their beck and call. The choice is yours.

Reality check

August 20th, 2019

QUESTION: Masters I know you can’t tell me what to do but I really need advice. My marriage has not been good for a long time. We bumble along going through the motions but recently I have become aware that my husband really seems to be a compulsive liar. He actually lies like a child would. I feel like I’ve been played from the beginning. Our 30th anniversary is soon, and I just feel depressed about it. I have lost all my Joie de Vivre and l will admit to being scared to leave as I’m in such a rut. I acknowledge my own part in our current circumstances, but I honestly feel that he never really felt love for me nor I, him as we were so young and naive. ~Caroline, Ireland

ANSWER: You both started out creating a fantasy world to your liking. You each convinced yourself that what you had was exactly what you thought life should be like. When your husband told you something, you heard only what you wanted to hear, never questioning what was actually being said. Living in your own world you couldn’t be affected by his.

Your lives have been on parallel paths during your marriage but not on the same roadway, which has allowed you to exist as a couple and seem to be compatible to others. Don’t fault yourself for this predicament because it is the way a vast majority of relationships play out. Most individuals just never become aware of the gap between their vision and their partner’s.

Communication is the great awareness tool, but few people impartially examine what is being said. It is hard to justify the reality you have created for yourself if you must also see what those around you perceive as the shared truth of the situation. Complicating talking to one another are the emotions you bring to the mix.

At a young age, infatuation overcomes a meeting of the minds and appears to be true love. You both loved each other to the extent your lack of experience provided. In point of fact, if you look back, you will see you really didn’t have that much in common. You had no foundation upon which to build a lasting relationship, and ignoring what you sensed about your husband is the only thing that has kept you together this long. 

It is now time to honor yourself. What is it that would satisfy you on a daily basis? How can you find out what your truth is, and how can you live it? You will remain in your rut only if you choose to do so. You have used your creativity all these years; now use it to create a life of your own, whether you remain in the marriage or not. Forget the past – it will be an anchor preventing you from moving forward.

Relationships

August 20th, 2019

QUESTION: Masters, I find the relationship I have with my father very confusing. Sometimes I feel like he’s hugely controlling. Sometimes I feel like he’s massively helping me. And because of the latter I tend to not understand or am able to process the former. Part of me thinks he’s a master manipulator, part of me thinks he’s just trying to be a good Dad. I’m being very careful not to put my own emotions into this because they have gone from love to rage with regards to him. There was a time about 10 years ago or more when I was advancing spiritually very quickly, and it was almost as if he sensed it and threw up such an emotional storm for me that I had to stop. With your help I’d like to understand what I hoped to learn from my father coming into this life. ~Steven, UK

ANSWER: You chose your father to be the center of a circular life. Everything has revolved around him pulling you in and not allowing you to go outside his influence without deciding to be dragged back in rather than letting go. Family has been a part of your identity which you have given controlling force over decision making.

Societal definitions of the relationship and obligations a son “owes” to his father have played a major role in your behavior. The parts you each chose are not typical. In the incidents where he has been massively helpful, he has been a teacher, a best friend, and a guide, not a father. He thrives on control and manipulation, which you have believed is a part of a father’s role. However, that is not normally the case – it is a part of his life lesson only.

When you talk about your emotions, you are actually referring to the emerging acceptance of your inner essence. It appears as an intuition about the choices you have if you don’t let the father-son relationship make you think you have no choice. The love/rage dichotomy is the positive/negative solution to a life lesson.

His reaction to your spiritual journey reflected his fear that you would cut the bonds of his influence in accepting your own path. Spirituality is all about oneself, why you are here, and what you have to learn. It is a solo endeavor, and another’s influence only prevents growth.

What you came to learn is when you are fulfilling your own freedom of choice vs. when you are giving it up to your father under the guise of responsibility. The journey is yours alone.