I’ve changed; has he?
QUESTION: Masters, my partner left me 6 months ago and that threw me into total despair, but since then I have done a lot of inner work and am now at a much better place—much more joy and self-love. I don’t even recognize the person I used to be. It is clear to me that the break-up is a life lesson and a gift for me to face my fears and to be whole again. I still desire a love relationship with my ex so much, and know if we have a new relationship it will be so beautiful because I now know unconditional love. Is it possible for me to manifest a relationship with him again, although we have not been in touch at all? If so, should I take action to get in contact with him or leave it to the universe? I am now focused on being joyful and enjoying my life, and would love to have him in my life again. ~S., Singapore
ANSWER: Take a good look at the person you are now—you have worked hard to be who you are. A good portion of that work was discovering the fact that for years you were controlled in the relationship and did not make your own decisions. When he left, you were forced to see that you possessed much more ability than you imagined or had given yourself credit for.
Remember it takes two to tango. He wanted to be the dominant in the relationship. It was when you began to question some of what was happening and wanted to start taking a little more responsibility for your own actions that he decided to leave. You were no longer an agreeable little pet. He has not changed—he is still a selfish, demanding person.
You could pursue a renewal of your partnership but it was never that, and it could never be a partnership. To get back together you would have to go back to the obedient little girlfriend who waits on, and takes care of, the man of the house. He has moved into a relationship where he has some shy person who has self-image issues, just like you were when you began with him.
To get back together you would have to throw away your new-found unconditional love, self-love, and joy. Instead, use your new gifts to manifest a worthy partner—one who will enter into a sharing, loving relationship where you are honored for who you are, not for what the man wants you to be. You are a beautiful soul; bring in a beautiful, loving, whole person to share your life. You deserve it.