Loss of a child
QUESTION: Masters, when a child in a family dies suddenly and unexpectedly, why must we be left here without them and without any explanation? Can’t some explanation be given to us parents for the early departure? I understand there was a plan and we previously agreed, but we don’t remember that now. Why can’t we get a little explanation or some contact to help us through? I know it can be done. I just don’t understand why it isn’t. Why did my daughter die so young? Was it for one of our souls’ growth or learning? Did she need this time for something she was doing? I just want to understand. ~Stephanie, USA
ANSWER: Your daughter’s body has left you but not her spirit. It is there to reach out and touch and communicate with. This is a part of a life lesson you—and others who had contact with your daughter in her physical life—planned to go through and try to reach an understanding of the pain. Giving you the names of all the lessons involved in this action would not help you understand them. It would simply have you pondering the verbiage. You also would not work through these lessons, and then you would have to repeat them in this or some other way.
The sense of loss, abandonment, guilt, depression—all these are lessons you need to explore. With each heartache that assails you, a lesson is saying, “Understand me; learn why I am here so that you may move on.” The explanation you seek can only be answered with the words “it is as you planned.” We cannot explain what you sought to learn from the event—the emotions within you are the explanation for the happening.
Go into those emotions and ask yourself what you are feeling. We don’t mean the physical loss but the sense of who you are and how you are responding to the death. When you see a picture of your daughter and you get depressed, ask what is behind those feelings. You will find you are thinking about unfairness, guilt that it was her and not someone else, a sense of abandonment. You need to examine why these feelings are a part of you.
Unfairness is a judgment that everything should be the same and somehow you got left out. Guilt over wanting to keep what you have and let someone else go in her place means you want to control what happens. Feeling abandoned means you think your life is more important than the person who left, or you are not good enough to have them stay. This is your lesson, your life. In examining the feelings that surround you, you will come to your desired explanation. It is all for the learning.